


Anybody's Guess

by saddle_tramp



Series: Incomplete [1]
Category: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003), The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Underage Sex, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Prison, Rape/Non-con Elements, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 09:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11078646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saddle_tramp/pseuds/saddle_tramp
Summary: Pairings: Brian/Tej. Also mentions of past Rome/Brian and unrequited Dom/Brian.Summary: Inspired by the song'Incomplete', particularly this part:Empty, spaces, fill me up with holes.Distant, faces, with no place left to go.Without you, within me, I can't find no rest.Where I'm, going, is anybody's guess.After Brian handed Dom his keys and got himself arrested, he knew life would never be the same again. He just didn't know how bad it could really get before it got better.





	Anybody's Guess

**Author's Note:**

> This is AU from the start, assuming the arrest record for Brian Spilner given in _'2 Fast 2 Furious'_ is for the most part Brian's real record. 
> 
> WARNING: This will likely be triggery for some people! Read the warnings/tags! There is non-consensual touching, reference to past rape (A pretty cop in prison is not going to have a good time, folks.) and a nightmare scene of non-con set off by italics for ease of skipping if that squicks you.
> 
> That said, I did not go into graphic detail with any of the non-con elements.

~*~*~

When his year in Chino was finally over, Brian was able to walk out of his cell with his head held high. He felt like that was a victory, just _surviving_ was a big deal to him. Even when he was arrested as a dirty cop, he hadn't been treated like the guards in Chino felt safe treating him. Before he hit Chino Brian had been protected, guarded when necessary to keep him safe, but when he walked into the prison that stopped instantly. The guards knew he was a cop who flipped and treated him like shit for it, and then they let the word spread in the general population and Brian had become a target. He had doubted he'd make it so many times he lost count, but he did and he felt like it was proof he wasn't really as weak as he had felt like he was while he was in Chino.

Part of Brian didn't really believe it was over when he left his cell behind, though.

He kept waiting to wake up to heavy hands pushing him down against his bunk to hold him still, or maybe that part was already done with and he would wake up in the infirmary again on the really good drugs. He'd ended up in the infirmary often enough to become a connoisseur of the pain meds they would dish out with stingy efficiency, depending on how bad you were hurt. He preferred the morphine over all the rest, though it was the hardest to get. He hadn't actively _set out_ to get hurt badly enough to justify the morphine, he wasn't that far gone, but he hadn't always tried as hard as he could have to _avoid_ it, either. He had earned a little morphine-induced freedom nearly a dozen times in Chino, though only once was bad enough for them to keep him floating for very long. Evidently his system really liked it, 'cause it always gave him weird happy dreams and left him feeling better than he had since that long drive up the coast in the Supra with Dom.

By the time Brian was shoved into a stuffy little holding room by two of the female guards, he was starting to doubt he was dreaming. They made a big show of strip searching him, taking away his clothes and patting him down even though that was usually something that was expected going _in_ to prison, not coming out. They tried to get him to react to them after a while, touching him more intimately and telling him they had heard people talking about what a good lay he was, but he was too far into his head by then to respond at all. Brian had heard all the same things before and he just kept staring at the wall waiting for it to end, trying hard not to let them see he was starting to freak out a little even though he was fairly sure he wasn't going to actually get hurt. The women finally gave up and left him alone in the tiny room, naked and shivering a little even though it was hot enough to make him sweat, and Brian had been left there to dread whatever would happen next.

A guard named Rawlins had walked in finally and tossed Brian's clothes in the floor, telling him to get dressed. He had watched intently the whole time, murmuring comments about the night Rawlins found him alone in the infirmary a few weeks earlier, too stoned and hurt already to fight him off. Brian only vaguely remembered what Rawlins had done and managed to tune out most of what he said, but it still made his skin crawl to have the bastard in the tiny room with him and he spent every second tense and waiting to have to fight him off. Rawlins was a cruel man who liked to hurt people and to humiliate them, but Brian was taller and a lot more muscular after fighting to survive for so long, and this time he wasn't stoned so he thought he could hold his own. Rawlins must have thought so too because he didn't try to touch Brian at all, staying well out of reach as he talked.

The topper for Brian's experience in the tiny little room was that his clothes didn't even fit anymore. The t-shirt was uncomfortably tight across his shoulders and chest because of muscles that had bulked up from all the fighting the last year, and he was sure if he wasn't careful how he moved he'd pop the seams. His underwear that used to be comfortably snug hung baggy on his ass and would barely hold on to his hips, and his jeans were so loose he was glad he'd worn a belt that day he got arrested or they would have just flat fallen off. The only things that still fit the same were his socks and the old Converse sneakers he'd been wearing for years.

By the time Brian stepped out into the hall again, though, he was finally very sure it was all real. Morphine dreams weren't as unpleasant as the hour or so he spent in that little room.

Brian had been taken to a counter where he was actually processed out and then given a copy of his release papers and a plastic bag that contained his possessions, but he left the bag on the counter when he walked out of the room. All he'd had on him when he went in were the clothes and shoes he was wearing and the contents of his pockets: his cell phone and his wallet that held only his bank card and his Brian Spilner ID. He hadn't accumulated anything while he was in jail so there was nothing left to show for his stay except for all the scars and the release papers he folded up and stuck in his wallet before he pocketed it.

Ten minutes later, Brian was standing alone on the far side of the road outside the prison. It was hot as hell even though it was just after nine, typical for August, but the breeze smelled better than any he'd breathed in over the last year and he just stood there enjoying free air a few minutes.

It didn't surprise him that no one was waiting for him, even though he had hoped there would be. Tanner had visited him regularly and still cared if he lived or died at least, he was sure of that much, but he hadn't contacted Tanner in the week since he found out when he was being released. Tanner had always shown up within a day when Brian got badly hurt so he was pretty sure Tanner had to know when Brian was getting out, too. Brian had expected he'd have to make it on his own, though. He had screwed up one too many times and felt like he deserved to get kicked to the curb.

Brian stood there on the side of the road for a long time, looking at the long stretch of blacktop heading away to the east and thinking about all the ways he had fucked up that day just over a year ago. It was bad enough that he'd betrayed his coworkers for Dom, his oath as an officer, but he had also betrayed the man who was more like a father to him than his real dad ever could have been. Tanner had been married to Brian's mom for nearly ten years before she died and he had always treated Brian like his own son even when Brian was that stupid fourteen year old kid, boosting fast cars with his best friend and joyriding because nothing else could make him forget his mom had terminal cancer.

Brian still wasn't sure if he should have kept his car that day or just climbed into it with Dom. His head said he should have kept the Supra, which he had loved, and let them put Dom in jail. He would have made detective, it had been promised to him if he took down Dom, and then he would have worked with Tanner permanently. His heart, though, still said he should have thrown himself into the Supra's passenger seat and surrendered his future to Dom's control along with his car. He was pretty sure that Dom would have taken him with him that day if he had asked. He might have dumped Brian later, probably would have had to when they rejoined the team, in fact, but he knew Dom would have gotten them both to safety first.

Brian had taken door number three, though, which he knew in hindsight had been the worst possible option: letting Dom go _and_ being too stupid to run. He had paid for it with a year of his life, some new scars, a reflexive urge to either flee or beat down anyone who touched him without warning, and a heaping helping of PTSD-fueled dreams that made the insomnia that kept him from sleeping at all some nights seem like a blessing. He couldn't remember what it was like to _not_ dream anymore, or to have a good dream. Every time he closed his eyes he was locked in his own personal hell, vivid nightmares that usually focused on people he loved hurting him, memories of beatings and worse mixed with faces he would have died for.

He finally shook himself out of his thoughts, turning towards the west. It didn't even occur to him to go back to the guard shack and ask them to call a taxi, but if it had he wouldn't have done it. He was relieved to be outside the walls that had held him in for so long, but he wouldn't be able to relax until he was as far away as he could manage. He walked at first, the constant fear that had kept him so twisted up inside for the last year still humming under his skin, and then suddenly without even consciously deciding to he was running flat out.

The Converse shoes Brian wore weren't ever made for running on concrete, and he'd worn out what little cushioning was in the soles long ago. His legs weren't in any better shape after months in a cell or a tiny courtyard, quickly reaching the point his calves and thighs started to burn, but after the last year he barely noticed the pain. He ran like the hounds of hell were after him for nearly a mile just because he _could_ run again, and some of the fear that had knotted his insides for so long had faded away by the time he slowed to an easy jog and began to look around and pay attention to his surroundings.

There wasn't much on the side of the highway he was on, but there was a little strip mall on the other side and then some businesses, so he waited for a break in traffic to run across. He stopped at the first ATM he saw after that, pocketing forty bucks and the receipt that gave him his balance so he knew exactly what he had to work with until he could earn some cash. His account hadn't been cleared out during the trial or the aftermath and he still had the winnings Tanner had deposited for him from the races he managed to get the Supra into that day at Race Wars, what seemed like a lifetime ago. It wasn't a lot by street racing standards, but he had gotten a car ready for low budget racing with less before and twelve thousand could do a lot if he was careful.

Once Brian was sure how much money he had, he didn't slow down again until he was in the parking lot of an import dealership, looking over their used cars. They weren't anything fancy, mostly just little commuter cars, and it didn't take him long to realize they had nothing in his price range that would even almost work. None of them had a decent performance package and he didn't have the cash to buy a car, replace pretty much everything under the hood, _and_ add the low-end Nos system he'd have to have to win some cash for more expensive upgrades. Dealer prices were double what he'd have expected to pay on the street and he just couldn't see paying several thousand bucks for some crappy compact that couldn't even help him earn a better car.

Brian went inside the dealership anyway though, heading over to ask the girl working the phones for directions to a smaller lot where he could get something older or banged up that might have a little more power under the hood. He noticed when the girl flirted with him, but he wasn't at all interested and after he pretended not to understand her third offer the girl answered his question, telling him about a much smaller lot a mile away that usually had good deals. Brian had gotten directions and headed out, walking at first until he got impatient and started running again just to get there faster. His legs weren't happy with him and his feet were screaming, but he didn't let it slow him down. He had learned back in juvie that he could take pain when he had to, and Chino had been a vivid reminder that he could take a lot so he might as well keep fighting.

The lot the receptionist sent him to had been nothing but more cheap commuter trash, but the guy working in the garage there had pointed him to a buddy of his named Clyde, who he said usually had a few good cheap project cars. Clyde's place wasn't close so Brian had ended up running again, though he was having a harder time trying to ignore the pain in his abused feet, but eventually he found the place. It was a small lot next to a junkyard with the unlikely name of 'Clyde's Auto Emporium' and only seven cars, but it was finally exactly what Brian needed. An hour later he was leaving in a pony car with a faded blue and orange paint job that had been ugly to start with and wasn't improved by everything that had happened to it over the years.

The Mustang hadn't been Brian's first choice when he got to the lot. No, _first_ he had been drooling all over a little Honda Civic parked right by the road that was a dark green and just barely within his price range even though it had been raced before because the body had a lot of cosmetic damage from being rolled. A look under the hood had made Brian's whole morning better when he saw the upgraded headers, turbocharger, coolant system, and the lines already run for Nos, and he was well on his way to making a deal on it when he finally opened the driver's door and got a face full of overheated perfume that nearly made his knees buckle. Whoever owned the car before had worn the same kind of perfume Mia wore, and evidently spilled a bottle in the car or something because the scent was completely overpowering. Brian hadn't been able to get away from the car fast enough even though Clyde thought he was crazy to pass up a car he had loved until then just because it _smelled_ funny.

The Mustang was a '69 Mach 1 Fastback and the only other car on the lot decent enough to get by with, or that could be when Brian got through with her. She was priced a lot lower than the Civic because she looked like shit with a horrible paint job and several large dents to the passenger side that would need a lot of careful hammer work to take out. She also needed a lot of small repairs like new hoses to replace the ones that were mostly held together by duct tape, filters, much better tires and the rims to go with them, and better shocks all the way around, not necessarily in that order.

Still, even with everything that needed done, there was plenty of life left in her yet and Brian saw a lot of potential. There was a receipt proving the engine had been replaced just a few thousand miles ago with a big-block V-8, the frame was solid and true with almost no rust when he slid under her to look, and the sound of the engine when she rumbled to life had made Brian grin for the first time in way too long. The transmission and clutch were smooth as silk when he took her for a test drive, flinging her around the block fast enough during the second lap that Clyde had called him _loco_ while Brian grinned wide and happy, finally feeling alive again for the first time in a year.

The Mustang was _his_ when she rolled off the lot with Brian the second time, free and clear. She was already quick and agile for her size, and he knew all the tricks that would make her fly. He would need to spend the next several days on her fixing a lot of just plain neglect and the stupid little things that he could _hear_ were slowing her down like a carburetor that needed adjusted, badly gapped plugs, and the filthy air filter choking her that he planned to change as soon as he found a parts store. After he got all the little minor shit fixed he'd put in a low-end Nos system, and then he'd find a few races to make enough money to rebuild her _right_. He had enough left in the bank to get her race-ready and still keep enough of a stake to get him into a low budget race or two, so the next thing he needed was a decent set of tools, preferably his own, and a quiet garage he could work in.

Half an hour later the Mustang was on the interstate headed west at seventy miles an hour while Brian munched happily on a piece of fried chicken that tasted like heaven. He had already stopped to replace the air filter, which took him like two minutes, and then went by a Dollar General to get a phone card and charger for his phone, a t-shirt that _fit_ , and three ice-cold bottles of Mountain Dew. He had gotten the bucket of fried chicken tenders and a big glass of ice from a KFC drive thru he saw on the way to the interstate, and he was finally starting to feel human again as he cruised along towards Los Angeles enjoying his first meal of _real_ food in a year.

Brian had left pretty much everything he owned in the back corner of Tanner's garage when he went undercover, including his big tool box, and he hoped it would all still be there.

 

~*~*~

 

Brian knew it was a stupid thing to do when he detoured through Echo Park on his way to Tanner's house in Reseda, but he did it anyway. Seeing that the market Mia had so many plans for had been turned into a diner serving Mexican food was like a punch to the gut, but finding Dom's beloved garage boarded up with a 'sold' sign on the front window was even worse.

Brian couldn't stop himself from driving by the house after that. It looked almost the same except for the weeds growing tall, but the 'for sale' sign in the yard hurt his heart worse than anything that had happened in Chino. He just sat in his Mustang in the middle of the street and looked at the house for a little while, remembering what seemed like a lot of time he had spent there even though he had only been part of the team for a few short months.

The 'for sale' sign made him think of something that happened near the end. Letty had said something during Sunday supper about the house being crowded and Dom needing something bigger, and Dom had told her it was his home and he liked it there. Brian had asked how long Dom and Mia had lived there, and Dom had told him the house had been in the family since it was built. Mia had teased then that Dom wanted to raise their _grandkids_ there, but instead of rising to the bait Dom had just smiled and said it sounded nice. That had sparked Letty's temper and she declared she didn't want any kids at all, and when Dom pointed out nobody said they'd be _her_ grandkids she had stormed out of the yard.

Dom had slept alone for a while after that but he hadn't seemed like it bothered him, and he was just as calm the night Letty showed up for dinner and invited herself back into his bed. One evening a few days later Brian was following Dom towards the kitchen when they heard Letty tell Mia that she was done with Dom, she had just wanted to get laid. Brian had expected some kind of reaction out of Dom, sure he'd be upset, but Dom had just smiled crookedly at Brian and continued into the kitchen to ask if he was making dinner for him and Brian or if Mia had something planned. Letty had given Dom a glare, surprising Brian when she gave him the same look before she breezed out, saying she had a date waiting on her.

Mia had needed to study for a test so Brian ended up watching Dom cook, fascinated by how comfortable and competent Dom was in the kitchen. Jesse and Leon had drifted in eventually, both a little high and drawn by the smell of sausage, mushrooms, and tomatoes cooking, and soon Brian was eating a bowl of rigatoni at the tiny kitchen table between Dom and Jesse with Leon across from him while they talked about the upcoming Race Wars. It had turned out to be one of the most comfortable, delicious dinners Brian had ever eaten in the house, and remembering it made him miss them all over again like he would miss his right leg if he lost it. He had felt like _family_ when he was with Dom, accepted unquestioningly by Leon and Jesse if not by Vince or Letty, and even after a year Brian still regretted that when he heard Dom and Mia fighting after Race Wars he didn't run out to go stop that last run before it could ever start.

Brian's gaze finally found the bullet holes in the siding that had never been repaired, which made him think again of sweet, _smart_ Jesse who had always made it so plain that he adored Brian. Letty had teased Jesse a few times about calling Brian beautiful, but she quickly lost interest because Jesse hadn't been ashamed of his crush. Jesse had been the one to help Brian settle in when he began working with the team in Dom's garage, making sure Brian had the tools he needed and then often putting them away again when Brian was done with them before Brian got a chance to. At the house, Jesse had often 'happened' to sit by Brian or at Brian's feet or wherever else he could to be close, and twice Brian woke up from a nap on Dom's comfortable old couch to find Jesse curled up close by, sound asleep despite the attention deficit disorder that so often made it hard for him to really relax.

Brian finally realized he was crying and dragged his attention off the house, fighting the urge to floor it as he wiped his eyes and instead started the Mustang moving towards Tanner's place in Reseda. He stayed off the main roads and obeyed every traffic sign in the quiet neighborhoods he drove through on the way there, using the long slow drive to get control of himself again.

 

~*~*~

 

Rick Tanner was in his comfortable little kitchen about to make himself some dinner when he heard a car with a big engine pull into the driveway. He moved to the back door to look out the window, and when he saw it was Brian driving a battered old Mustang, he hurried outside. He was next to the Mustang before the motor had even fallen silent, and when Brian got out Rick pulled him into a hug without a word. He was so glad that Brian was out of Chino and safe back at home that he couldn't have spoken if he wanted to, not without embarrassing them both.

Brian shuddered and froze when Tanner grabbed him and had to fight the instinct to shove him away, but he got control of it after a few moments. He wrapped his arms around Tanner finally then, hoping Tanner wouldn't comment on his reaction and returning the hug as he whispered, "Hey."

"Hey yourself, kid," Rick murmured gruffly near Brian's ear, eyes closed. He had a good idea why Brian had freaked out a little when he hugged the kid, so he was reluctant to let go of him until he was sure Brian not only knew he was safe, but _felt_ safe, too. Brian had reacted to being hugged about the same way after juvie so Rick had expected it, even though he would have given anything to be wrong about Brian for a change.

Brian held himself stiffly at first while he hugged Tanner, but after a minute or two the wary fear he'd felt at being touched for so long began fading away and he started to relax. He shifted a little closer, hiding his face against Tanner's shoulder, and wasn't surprised to feel Tanner stroke his hair gently.

Rick just held Brian close for a few more minutes, waiting until he was sure Brian had really relaxed before he finally gave Brian a quick squeeze and then pulled away. He smiled softly at Brian and lifted one hand to the shaggy golden hair that had fallen in Brian's eyes, brushing it back as he inspected the kid's face. The bruises that had been there the last time Rick saw him a few weeks earlier had faded away but Brian's blue eyes were like the pits of hell, red from crying not too long ago and clouded with pain and sorrow even worse than the last time Rick saw him, and he hated that getting _out_ of Chino had hurt Brian even more than being inside.

Rick had thought Brian forgot _how_ to cry long before Chino, but the pain and soul-deep sadness in Brian's eyes was more familiar than he wanted it to be. Brian had been hurting since the day he figured out it really was Toretto doing the truck heists, and giving Toretto his car and then going to prison for him definitely hadn't helped any. Brian had been in and out of the infirmary a dozen times in Chino because of fights that turned into beatings followed by sexual assaults Brian didn't think Rick knew about, usually leaving Brian unable to even stand.

Rick almost sighed at that thought, still gazing into Brian's sad blue eyes. Sometimes being a cop and having access to Brian's private records had really sucked, but if he _wasn't_ a cop Rick was sure Brian would have died in juvie. Brian had been a pretty kid then, all long legs, golden hair he let grow too long, and those blue eyes of his. Rick had known something was wrong the first time he visited Brian, who was entirely too quiet and looked like he wasn't sleeping at all, but Brian refused to admit to anything even though he had lost weight and was obviously being beaten. A worried female guard had finally pulled Rick aside about a month later to tell him that Brian was being passed around by the older boys in his cell block and the kid was too stupid to stop fighting them so they kept trying to beat it out of him.

Rick had immediately gone to speak with the warden at length about Brian and how he was a good kid that just lost it a little when his mom died, begging the warden to transfer him to share a cell with Rome, who was in a different cell block. A week later, Rick got a call saying Brian was in the infirmary and that the warden had approved the transfer. Brian had drastically improved after just a week of being with Rome, and within few months he had managed to find his confidence again. Rick had thanked Rome for saving Brian's life every time he visited after that even though Rome was downright hostile to him, grateful for the boy's hard edges for the first time even though the guards had made sure he knew Brian was still someone's bitch. Rome had at least treated Brian well and fought to protect him, keeping him safe and sane and even _happy_.

By the end of the first year Rick had expected what the boys had begun in juvie would be a permanent thing, sure Brian was deeply in love with Rome, but when they got out of juvie Rome had just wanted to forget everything, including Brian. Brian was a wreck, chasing after Rome begging him to talk for weeks before he suddenly gave up and seemed to collapse in on himself, barely leaving his bedroom. When Rick got a chance to transfer to the Glendale PD a few weeks later, Brian had jumped at the idea and they had both left Barstow behind. Rome still wouldn't talk to Brian, but Brian hadn't ever given up on him, still trying once in a while to get Rome to talk to him, and Rick was pretty sure Brian never would.

Rick finally realized Brian wasn't going to say anything, so he started talking to distract himself from thinking about the kid's past. "You should have called, I would have taken a personal day and come to get you."

"Phone's still dead," Brian said quietly. "I think the battery is fucked. I stopped for a charger, but it's still not working."

"I meant when you got your release date, but I know you passed a _payphone_ too somewhere between Chino and wherever you got in that car," Rick pointed out, exasperated.

"Prob'ly," Brain admitted, looking down. "I wasn't looking for one. With the phone dead I didn't have your number, and I wasn't sure you'd have time for me anyway."

Rick frowned, reaching out to tip Brian's chin up and make Brian look at him as he said firmly, "Stop that. You screwed the pooch in a major way, Brian, we both know that, but I knew it was coming _a long time_ before you did." He smiled crookedly. "You may be a fucking _idiot_ sometimes, son, but you're still _my_ idiot."

Brian let out a surprised little huff of a laugh. "Gee thanks, Tanner."

"How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Dad before you'll stop with the 'Tanner' crap?" Rick asked, equally amused and exasperated even though he was pleased he got a laugh out of Brian.

"At least one more," Brian replied, finally starting to smile a little. "You've always been Tanner to me."

Rick snorted, but he was smiling too. "Well, at least you don't call me _Dick_ anymore."

Brian's smile widened, and Rick was glad to see it reached the kid's eyes finally as Brian said teasingly, "C'mon, that was always funny."

"It wasn't funny when I heard it the first time as a _kid_ and it's still not now, Brian," Rick said with scowl he didn't really feel. "My name might be Richard, but I prefer _Rick_ , not _Dick_."

"I know you don't like dick, Tanner," Brian said cheekily. "You were married to my _mom_ and she was really picky about that kind of thing."

Rick laughed. "Smartass." He nodded towards the Mustang, changing the subject. "Did you borrow it, or is that piece of junk yours?"

"Mine, free and clear," Brian replied, looking at the car. "She doesn't look like much now, but give me some time. She's gonna take your breath away."

Rick snorted. "Didn't have time to call me, but you had time to find yourself a project, huh?"

Brian kept his gaze on the car. "I headed out on foot when they let me go this morning, didn't stop until I found a lot with something worth driving that I could afford. My feet are still killin' me, these shoes were never made for running a few miles, but she was worth it."

" _Miles_ , Brian?!" Rick exclaimed. Brian looked sheepishly at him, nodding, and Rick resisted the familiar urge to grab Brian and shake some sense into him. It had never worked when he was a kid in truth, and he knew it wouldn't work any better now that Brian was an adult that just _acted_ like a stupid kid sometimes. "You need a _keeper_."

Brian looked away as he ran one hand through his shaggy hair. "Not the first person to suggest that, actually." Dom had told him the same thing a hundred times, usually with that same fond, exasperated tone Tanner had going on. Brian's response had always been it was lucky he had Dom then, mostly because it made Dom laugh. Dom never knew Brian meant it.

"I bet." Rick jerked his chin towards the car. "Well, go on, get back in your new _girlfriend_ so we can switch the cars around." Brian looked at him, surprised, and he added, "You'll want her in the garage to work on her, won't you?"

Brian just stared a moment longer and then asked softly, "You're gonna let me stay here?"

Rick met Brian's gaze, hoping the kid would see how sincere he was and really believe it as he said, "I will _always_ be your Dad, Brian, even if you won't call me that. That doesn't change because you fell for a sexy smile and a set of brown eyes that made you forget everything else you ever believed in."

Brian looked away, suddenly reminded of the last time Dom had given him that sexy smile of his during Race Wars, right after Brian won his first race in the Supra. He took a shaky breath, blinking rapidly, and when he looked back at Tanner his blue eyes were too bright. "It was never really Mia."

"I know," Rick agreed. "Just like I always knew how you felt about Rome." He paused and then added softly, "Even before juvie."

Brian looked away again, not wanting to talk about Rome or juvie either. It had been hell at first, but after Tanner got him transferred to share a cell with Rome it had been kind of good for Brian. He had been the one to put the moves on Rome after a few weeks, offering to him what Brian had fought so hard trying to avoid with the others, and things had been great between them after Rome finally gave in right up until they got out. Then Rome was suddenly straight again and wanted nothing to do with Brian, finally literally running away from him one night when Brian got too close. Moving to Glendale had been a relief after that. Brian couldn't stand being so close to Rome and expected to not only stay away, but also pretend he didn't want to be with him anymore.

Brian dragged his thoughts away from Rome and found himself thinking about Dom again, and then about Mia. He was talking before he really thought about it, murmuring quietly, "After everything, I think what I regret most last year is sleeping with Mia."

"For her or for you?" Rick asked gently, making Brian look at him, confused. Rick sighed and made the question a little more blunt. "Do you regret hurting her, or regret that you went for her instead of her brother?"

"Dom didn't want me," Brian said with a shrug, looking at the Mustang. "I regret ever touching her. She hates me now, but we... we were really good friends for a while before I slept with her, _family_ even, and I think I could have kept that if I hadn't been willing to do _anything_ for the job." He swallowed hard. "Even after she knew I was a cop, she gave me the number for the burner phone Dom carried that day so I could get a trace. I just wanted to keep the team safe, not put them in jail, and she trusted me enough to help me do it." He let out a little huff. "She even drove my car while I pulled Vince off that truck. I nearly got shot saving him, felt a slug go by so close it took some hair with it, but I'd do it again if I had to. He hated my guts from the moment he first saw me, but Dom and Mia, they both loved him."

"I wish I never sent you in," Rick said softly, making Brian look at him again. "It was a terrible plan from the start, and I never should have let Bilkins pull you in when they saw you stop at Toretto's. You weren't ready for it, especially with how you've always loved hanging out with street racers. I knew it likely wasn't a coincidence, you showing up right after him." He inhaled and then let it out slowly, still looking into Brian's eyes and wishing that the kid didn't look so sad and pained even when he was so obviously surprised. "I'm sorry I ruined your life, kiddo."

" _You_ didn't help him get away," Brian pointed out, frowning. " _I_ did that."

Rick let out a little huff of a laugh. "Maybe so, but when I got the call telling me three kids were dead and you had given Toretto that car you spent so much money on and then told the first officers on the scene to arrest you, it didn't surprise me much."

Brian looked away. "Yeah, 'cause I'm such a fuck up."

Rick reached out to make Brian look at him again before he said gently, "No, because I knew you had fallen for him, Bri. Giving him anything else you thought he needed was inevitable after you gave him your _heart_. I could see it when you talked about him right from the start, always so solidly on his side and trying to protect him just like you used to back up Rome even when you knew he had done wrong."

Brian stared into Rick's eyes for a moment, his eyes pained and sad, then whispered, "I'm so sorry I picked him over you."

Rick pulled Brian into his arms, closing his eyes at the way Brian clung to him, face hidden against his shoulder. "Oh kid, no, that was _never_ what you did. Toretto getting away didn't hurt _me_ at all, so you were never choosing between him and me. You chose him over _yourself_."

Brian let out a quiet little hurt noise that Rick felt like a dead-center hit to the vest as the kid whispered brokenly, "I think I still would."

Rick just stood there holding Brian while the kid cried, wishing he could go back in time. He should have never sent Brian under, or at the very least pulled him once he realized Brian had fallen for his mark. Leaving him there, even at Brian's insistence, was a mistake Rick and Brian would both have to live with for the rest of their lives.

He just hoped Brian could recover from it.

 

~*~*~

 

Brian whimpered softly in his sleep, twitching.

_"Fuck it. I'm tired of watching you beg for it, Brian," Dom said quietly. He grabbed Brian to shove him down against the hood of the Supra, and Brian wasn't surprised Dom could pin him down on his belly so easily, covering Brian's body with his own. "You wanna be my boy so bad, then you better get used to bending over for me."_

_Brian shuddered, glad they were alone in the garage as he arched his back, pushing back against Dom. "Glad to for you, Dom."_

_"It's all he's good for," Vince's voice suddenly said, making Brian's eyes go wide. "You gonna share, Dom?"_

_"Sure, V," Dom replied, one hand moving to Brian's hair to hold his head still while Dom looked away towards the sound of Vince's voice. "If you're really good." He looked back at Brian, hand tightening in Brian's hair as he added darkly, "Or when he's been bad."_

_"Dom, please," Brian murmured. He twisted his head despite the painful pull of Dom's hand in his hair, wanting to see Dom's eyes and sure Dom could feel how he was shaking as he whispered, "I wanna be with you, you know I do." He swallowed hard, adding more softly, "Just, not for_ him _. Not_ Vince _."_

 _"_ You _don't get to decide," Dom growled, eyes narrowing with anger. "Maybe your guy went easy on you back in juvie, Bri, but now you are_ mine _." He looked away, adding, "Come on, V. Brian needs a lesson."_

_Brian could hear boots against concrete as Vince said, "You want first shot, Dom, or are you gonna let me break him in for you?"_

_"You might as well," Dom agreed, staring into Brian's eyes. "He's just another bitch."_

_Brian closed his eyes at the feel of a big hand,_ Vince's _hand, shoving roughly between him and the Supra's hood to reach for his belt and jerk it loose, then his jeans were being dragged down as Vince said near his ear, "Now you're gonna pay for fucking my girl, cop."_

_"Dom, please," Brian pleaded as his eyes started to burn. "You made your point."_

_Dom shifted to the side, leaning close to Brian's other ear as he said softly, "I haven't even gotten started yet."_

_Brian felt Vince move in close behind him and he tensed up even though he knew that would just make it hurt more_.

Brian jerked awake with a pained cry, thrashing on his bed and looking around wildly at his darkened room. It took a minute for him to be sure it had been just another nightmare. Once he was sure he was safe he let out a soft little broken noise and rolled to his side, curling up in a ball as he closed his eyes.

His dreams were worse than any reality with Dom could have ever been, he was sure. Dom wasn't the type to take pleasure in degrading him, Brian knew it like he knew his own name when he was awake, but in his dreams that always seemed to change, twisting everything he thought he knew into nightmares. Vince featured prominently in them, sometimes with Johnny Tran or his cousin Lance that had looked at Brian like he was a piece of meat, even goofy little _Edwin_ once, and the theme was always the same. Brian would get a little too close to Dom or look a little too long or Mia would just tell Vince to hurt him, and then he'd end up beat down and pinned with his pants around his knees while one of them fucked him mercilessly, memories of juvie or Chino mixing with the dreams to make them particularly vivid.

Brian scrubbed at his eyes with one hand, suddenly angry that he was crying again over a fucking _dream_. He wasn't the kind of guy who cried so easy, or he hadn't been until the nightmares started at least, and it was starting to really bother him. He rolled out of bed and moved to grab his shorts out of the floor, pulling them on quickly and then heading for the garage even though the clock said it was just past three.

At least if he was working, he wouldn't be dreaming.

 

~*~*~

 

Brian was under the Mustang tightening down the new skid plate early on a Monday morning almost two months after Chino when his phone began to play the generic three-beat tone he had set for people not in his contact list. He ignored it while he finished the bolt he was on, letting the call time out, but then the phone started ringing a second time. He rolled out from under the car, jumping up to reach into the driver's window and grab his phone out of the seat, flipping it open. He was aggravated, the skid plate had been a total pain in the ass to wrestle into place alone and he wasn't in the mood to be bothered by some telemarketer at daybreak, and he took it out on whoever was calling. "Hello, this is Brian's phone. If I don't know you, please go fuck yourself _right now_. Beeeep."

The person calling let out a laugh. "Don't even front with me, baby. I know you're a total Twinkie."

Brian laughed, eyes going wide. There was only one person on the _planet_ who had ever called him Twinkie. "Holy shit! Tej?! How'd you find me?"

"I cheated, dog," Tej said smugly. "I called your Grandma Lily Pearce. She's in the book and I knew _she'd_ know where to find your ass."

"She's not really my Grandma, she's Rome's. He just let me borrow her when we were kids and I never did stop." Brian laughed again, turning to lean back against the side of his Mustang. "And I'm surprised you even remember her."

"Dude, I remember you raving over her biscuits every time we got chicken," Tej replied, chuckling. "To hear you tell it, her biscuits are a _religious_ experience."

"They totally are, man," Brian said quickly, grinning wide and happy. "It's good to hear your voice, it's been a while."

"Too damn long, baby," Tej agreed feelingly, "which is why I'm callin'. I got a proposition for you, Bri."

Brian blinked, surprised. "What kind of proposition?"

"Well, that'll take a little 'splainin', so bear with me," Tej replied, sounding a little amused. "You know I quit the pro circuit after that accident, right?"

"Yeah, I heard that much," Brian agreed, curious what that had to do with anything.

"Well, when I quit racing pro, it was 'cause I had to quit racing _at all_ ," Tej said quietly. "My right leg got shredded in the crash, and when the docs put me back together they had to jury-rig it. It's not enough to stop me walkin' on it or anything, not now I've had surgery half a dozen times anyway, but moving that foot like I have to do for racing hurts like hell. I _can_ when it's important, especially if I smoke up first, get real relaxed, but I'm gonna pay hard for it for a few days after."

"That's rough, man," Brian said quietly, wishing Tej was in front of him so he could hug him. Tej had always loved racing even more than he did, which was going some. "Sorry to hear that, I know how you love flyin' down a good flat stretch of blacktop."

"I do, but now that I can't drive I'm finding I love _setting up_ street races near as much." Tej sounded calm and pleased, and it made Brian smile slightly, relieved. "Which brings me to why I wanted to hunt your Twinkie ass down. I'm in Miami now, just finished building my own garage right on the water with a couple house boats, a bunch of jet skis, speedboat, all kinds of fun toys out back, and I'm in _big_ with the street racing crowd here. They all know me and respect me, and when I put out the call to set up a race, the best of the best _fight_ to run where I say." He paused and Brian could hear him take a swallow of something, then he went on. "That's where you come in, Bri. I want you to come out here, stay for the winter or hell, _forever_ if you wanna. I just got a Skyline in that'll _fly_ when me and my buddy Jimmy get through with her, especially if I can get you drivin' her. I'll do all the upkeep, parts, everything. All you gotta do is show up and drive when I call, and you keep two-thirds of the profits."

"Wow," Brian murmured, wide-eyed. "Why me?"

"I knew you was gonna ask that," Tej replied with a low chuckle. He took another swallow of whatever he was drinking, and then his tone of voice shifted lower to something warm and intimate as he went on. "You got the _fever_ , Bri, just like me. Nitrous runs through your veins and gives you a rush like _no other_ when you're behind the wheel drivin' like a bat out of hell, better than drugs or booze, better than _sex_ , baby. You live it and breathe it, and even when you were just that pretty kid who walked into George's place and drooled all over my car, I knew you'd make a name for yourself one day if you got the right chance." He paused to let that sink in, then murmured soft and low, "This is that chance, baby boy. Come out here and let me make you a _legend_."

Brian let out a soft little strangled noise that wasn't quite a laugh as he suddenly realized he was getting hard. "Jesus, Tej. Was that a job offer, or a proposition?"

"Whichever you want, baby," Tej replied easily, amused and fond. "Both, if you think you can handle it. You might hafta fight my girl for me though, and Suki, she don't play fair. She ain't even in my bed yet and she's already put the word out I'm her private property. Drives me _insane_ , gettin' me all hot and bothered and then flyin' off in her little convertible. Sexy, _fast_ little Asian model with a nice set of headlights and a just enough junk in the trunk, know what I mean?"

Brian grinned. "Yeah, man, I know what you mean. She sounds just your speed."

"She is, and she knows it, too," Tej agreed, chuckling softly. He fell silent a moment, then murmured, "I really wish you'd come, baby boy. I still miss you, and I _know_ you could dominate out here."

Brian looked down at the garage floor, but he wasn't really seeing it as he thought about what he still needed to do on the Mustang to get her finished and ready for such a long trip. Tanner would hate it, but as soon as Brian heard Tej make the offer, his choice was made. Getting out of L.A. had been on Brian's mind for weeks, he just hadn't had anywhere to go. "I need a week."

"To decide, or..." Tej trailed off questioningly, sounding surprised.

"To finish my car," Brian said, smiling. "I've got a '69 Mustang I've been workin' on for a while now. I should be able to get her done in a week, though, then give me a few days to make the drive and you got yourself a driver."

Tej laughed, happy and excited. "Hot damn! Really?"

"Yeah, really," Brian agreed, grinning suddenly. "It sounds awesome, Tej, all of it. I've been needing to get out of here, and yeah. I don't know how to thank you."

"No need to, baby boy," Tej said quickly, still obviously happy and excited. "I'm the one gonna be thankin' _you_ when you get here. Not many folks would leave everything they ever knew behind just 'cause I asked 'em to."

"I need the change, and you said you need me," Brian said with a shrug, still grinning. "Just makes sense for me to say yes."

"Maybe so, but you better be ready when you get here, baby," Tej said, and Brian was _sure_ he was smirking. "I'm gonna climb you like the tree you are, show you just how grateful I am."

Brian laughed. He had been just barely taller than Tej already when they met, and Tej had joked afterwards more than once he had to be part tree, he shot up so fast. "Sounds nice, if Suki doesn't kill me."

"You let me worry about Suki," Tej said, still sounding like he was smirking. "You just get your ass to Miami, baby boy."

"I will," Brian agreed. "Soon."

"Next week," Tej said, sounding pleased. "Wednesday?"

Brian thought about that only a moment and then grinned. It gave him the whole week to run a few races and finish off the final touches on his Mustang, and a few days to make the drive, too. "I can do that."

"I'll be waitin'," Tej said cheerfully. "I'm even gonna get cornrows this week, just for you. I know how you hated waking up with a face full of 'fro."

Brian laughed, knowing how Tej _hated_ sitting still long enough to have his hair braided, and said teasingly, "I love you, too."

"Of course you do, I'm awesome," Tej agreed, smug. "Call me when you head out, baby."

"I will," Brian agreed, smiling wide and happy.

"Talk to you then," Tej said easily.

The call clicked off and Brian looked at his phone, saving the number to his contacts before he closed the phone and just stood there by his Mustang for a few moments grinning and thinking about Tej.

Brian had met Tej right after he and Tanner moved to Glendale. Tanner had gotten Brian a job working for a friend of a friend, a guy known to everyone as simply George who owned a garage that specialized in high-end performance cars. Driving and being around fast cars was the only thing that made Brian happy then, so Tanner had made sure he could do it without risking another stint in juvie. George's had been the garage where Brian had learned how to _work on_ cars, not just steal them or drive as well as anyone Tanner had seen, and Brian still had fond memories of years spent hanging out there almost all the time, playing gopher even on his days off while soaking up every bit of car knowledge he could.

Tej had been there that first day when Brian walked in, parked under an awning in back and using George's tools to work on his car, a dark blue Trans-Am that he was restoring. George had introduced Brian to him and then told Tej to 'learn him something useful', and then he left Brian to Tej's not-so-tender mercies. Tej was a few years older and a lot more jaded than Brian, and it had taken most of the day for Tej to start to relax around Brian enough to say anything more than what tool he needed next. Once Tej finally started talking to Brian they became fast friends, and Brian had learned a lot from Tej while they were running together.

Tanner had been a little pissed when Brian came in beaming at two in the morning still flying high on adrenaline after the first time Tej had let Brian race his car, but he was _livid_ the night several months later when Brian drove home in Tej's Trans-Am and asked how to do a title transfer. Brian had won a sweet little tricked-out Miata in a race and Tej had promptly given him the Trans-Am to keep the Miata for himself. Tanner had seemed to like Tej well enough other than the racing though, and he never argued when Brian said he was going out with Tej and not to wait up.

They had known each other most of a year before Tej tackled Brian after he won a really close race, kissing him thoroughly, and they were both so high on adrenaline that it sounded like a great idea when one of their friends told them to just fuck already and get it over with. Brian had slept at Tej's place as often as he did at home for months by then anyway, sacking out on the couch, and moving to Tej's bed hadn't been enough of a change to upset their close friendship. They were still just friends, but they were friends that fucked like rabbits when the mood struck, raced each other almost as often as they went up against other people, and _always_ had each other's backs.

They were both happy when Tej got a chance to go legit about a year later, and Brian had sent him off with a night Tej had said he'd never forget. Tej had also promised he'd always have a place for Brian in his life and told Brian to call if he ever wanted to join him on the circuit, but Brian couldn't even imagine giving up street racing to be at some track, spending his life watching cars run in circles. He and Tej had talked all the time right up until Brian went into the academy, when talking to Tej had started to be a reminder of everything Brian couldn't have if he wanted to be a cop. They drifted apart then, but Brian had always known that if he called on Tej he'd still help, just like Brian would do for him.

Besides Tanner, Brian only had two people in his life who meant as much to him as Tej did, and the prospect of moving to Miami to pick up where he and Tej left off had him grinning wide and happy as he finally went back to work.

 

~*~*~

 

Brian took one last look into the trunk of the Mustang at his neatly crated collection of tools and spare parts, double-checking he had everything secured, and then he closed the lid. She'd be a little heavy on the ass end if he found a race, likely to leap up off the line like a startled horse, but he knew she had the suspension to handle it and still smoke almost anyone.

The Mustang didn't look anything like she did the day he bought her, not anymore. She shone in the sun now, pale silver with a very fine metal fleck to it and narrow stripes low on the sides and a racing stripe up over the hood in a flat dark blue, vivid against the bright shimmering base coat. Brian loved it even though he had gone to the body shop that had agreed to let him use their paint shed after-hours intending to paint her a dark red. There was a Harley in the lot painted with the silver when he got there though, shining in the evening sun, and one look had been all she wrote. He'd wasted more than he should have on the paint, even had to borrow some cash from Tanner until he could win a race to pay him back, but he thought she was worth it. His baby turned heads everywhere she went and he loved seeing the respectful looks she got from racers who _knew_ what kind of wrench time and love had gone into her.

Brian stroked one hand over her trunk absently as he looked at Tanner and said quietly, "I guess that's it."

Rick's lips twitched slightly at the way Brian was petting his car. He did it all the time when he was standing near her, almost as if the sleek paint drew his fingertips to it like a magnet. She had given him something to love when he desperately needed it, a reason to get up every day and keep going, and he obviously treasured her. He just wished Brian hadn't been in such a hurry to finish her just so he could _leave_. He had told Brian how he felt about him going a hundred times since Brian told him one night a week ago that he was leaving when he got the car done, but Rick couldn't help trying one last time. "I wish you'd stay, Bri. It's only been a couple months since you got out. Give it some more time, you'll forget Toretto eventually."

Brian shook his head, looking away as his hand went still. "Nah. He's gone, but I still see him _everywhere_ here." He looked back at Tanner, his blue eyes suddenly pained again like they had been for so long. The pain and sadness in them had finally started to clear away recently, sometimes for days at a time, but the moment Brian thought about Toretto or his crew the old familiar pain was always back. "Dom still might as well be king of the scene to most of the local racers, even a year gone. Half the time they won't have anything to do with me 'cause they heard I was the cop that made him have to run, and the rest of the time they're calling me his _puto_ and asking when he's coming back, sure I have to know since I went to _jail_ for him."

"You could try racing legit," Rick pointed out, not for the first time. He let the _puto_ thing go by. That particular insult got under Brian's skin because _Brian_ felt like it was true, and no amount of arguing with him was going to change that. He knew, he had tried. Brian was ashamed of what he had done as a cop and had told Rick once he would never stop regretting whoring himself out to try to make detective.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life running in circles," Brian replied immediately, "and you _know_ that 'cause we've had that conversation about fifty thousand times."

Rick sighed, looking down and sure there was nothing he could say to change Brian's mind. Brian wanted out of L.A. like Rick wanted to stop seeing those shadows in his boy's eyes, and he knew that the only way he'd get what he wanted was if Brian got what _he_ needed first. He looked up again after a few moments, meeting Brian's gaze. "When you get settled, kid, you better let me know."

"Define settled," Brian said, smiling slightly even though his eyes didn't change.

"Just forget I said that part," Rick said firmly. "You call me _often_ , okay? I need to know where you are and that you're okay."

"I'll call," Brian agreed quietly, more serious. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Not as much as I'll miss you," Rick said gruffly, walking over to Brian to pull him into a hug. "Stay safe, son."

Brian hugged him tightly. "I will, Dad."

Rick let out a shocked little laugh and pulled back. "Seriously? After all these years refusing to say it anymore, you're gonna start calling me Dad again when you _leave_?"

Brian gave him a crooked, sheepish little grin. "I guess so, since it just happened."

Rick laughed. Brian never did have much of a filter on his mouth, not when he was with someone he trusted. "Well, late's better than never, I guess." He gave Brian a gentle push towards the driver's side of his car. "Go on, kid. Hit the road and go find whatever it is that you're missing." He paused and then added more seriously, "Just, if that's Toretto, be careful he doesn't get you into trouble again, okay? I've had enough of visiting you in jail."

"He went south to a little town in Mexico," Brian said softly. "Not east."

Rick stared. "You _knew_?"

Brian nodded and looked away, sure Tanner remembered as well as he did that the prosecutor had offered him a deal that would have kept him out of Chino if he'd just told them where Dom went.

"Mia let it slip where they went that last time I talked to her, before the trial," Brian admitted finally. Mia had been angry and ranting at Brian that Vince was in jail and she couldn't even see her family anymore because they were at Letty's place in Mexico, and how it was all Brian's fault. She hadn't said any more about where, but Brian remembered hearing Letty talk to Leon once about the house and land in Teopantlan she inherited from an uncle she barely knew. It was in the middle of nowhere, forty acres of weeds, cactus, and agave occupied only by a few dozen feral goats and cattle that were wilder than any rabbit.

Brian looked at Tanner again, adding, "But I'm heading _east_. I figured I'd visit Grandma Lily and try to talk to Rome, then head for Miami. I got a buddy that ended up there a few years ago." He paused and then added, "You oughta remember him. Tej Parker? Little black dude, weighed like ninety pounds soaking wet back then."

"Of _course_ I remember Tej," Rick said, surprised. He couldn't exactly _forget_ the kid that got Brian into street racing and gave him a souped-up Trans-Am for his first car even though Tanner didn't want the kid driving _at all_ after juvie. Brian had practically lived with Tej for a long time and got dozens of speeding tickets in that damned Trans-Am before the kid had finally pushed it a little too far in a race out in the desert one night a few months after Tej left town. Brian had lost control of the car, flipping the Trans-Am so many times it was nothing but scrap by the time it stopped, and it was a _miracle_ he had gotten out before the car blew. Brian had walked away with nothing but a few scrapes and a concussion. "He went legit, didn't he?"

Brian nodded. "Yeah, he was doing real good for a few years, made a lot of money on the circuit, but then he went into the wall, a real nasty wreck that nearly killed him. He doesn't race anymore, blew out his knee in the crash, but he's still into the street scene and he called me up last week after he got my number from Grandma Lily. He needs a driver and offered me a bay in his garage and to keep me in cars and races if I'll split the profits."

Rick smiled, feeling so relieved he couldn't begin to hide it so he didn't even try. He had been afraid all week that Brian was so happy because he had decided to finally go after Toretto. "If I had known that you were gonna go ride with _Tej_ I wouldn't have fought you so hard this week about leaving. He's a good kid, real smart, and he was always good to you."

"You really thought I was gonna go look for Dom," Brian half-asked, frowning suddenly.

"I did," Rick admitted, pausing to consider whether or not he should be honest about why. He finally decided it was probably best if he was, even though it could upset Brian. "You talk in your sleep, son. Even down the hall I hear you calling his name most every night."

"You got it all wrong," Brian said quietly, looking down at the trunk of his car but not really seeing it. "I don't have _good_ dreams anymore. Mostly when I dream about Dom either he dies because of me or beats me to death for hurting Mia." He swallowed hard, remembering a bad one the night before where Dom had been in Chino with him, then added very softly, "Well, when I'm lucky. Sometimes it's... a lot worse."

"Damn," Rick murmured, pained and wishing he didn't have such a good idea of what Brian meant by worse. "I'm sorry, son. That's gotta be rough, especially with how you feel about him."

"Not your fault," Brian said, looking off towards the street because he couldn't make himself meet Tanner's gaze. He hadn't known that Tanner knew about _everything_ in Chino at first, but eventually Tanner had said something that made Brian realize that the closest thing he'd ever had to a dad knew _exactly_ why Brian freaked if anyone touched him when he wasn't expecting it. "That's part of why I gotta get out of here, though. I gotta stop thinking about him. Those damn dreams are gonna drive me crazy if I don't."

"Yeah. You need a new place with new faces and plenty of races to run," Rick agreed, nodding and finally sure Brian was doing the right thing. He wished things were different, but he knew Brian too well to think that he was ever going to change. The kid had nitrous oxide in his blood. "I wish you loved doin' something a little safer, but I know you're one of the best drivers out there so I'm not gonna tell you to stop. Just, be careful, okay? Listen to Tej, he's smart, he'll keep you out of trouble."

"I will," Brian agreed, smiling suddenly.

"You'll love racin' for Tej, I know," Rick added, smiling. "Just take it a mile at a time."

Brian's smile twisted as he looked away, his gaze settling on the roof of his Mustang even though he wasn't seeing her at all. "Dom told me one time he lives for just a quarter mile at a time. While he's racing nothing else matters, not bills, or family, or speed limits, just flying free." He looked back at Tanner. "He might as well have been reading my mind."

Rick looked into Brian's eyes for a long moment, at a loss for what to say. He knew Brian had felt like the odd man out since he was a kid, always on the outside looking in except for the time he'd spent with Tej, and Rick was sure that meeting Dom and finding out someone else understood him had been a huge part of why Brian flipped.

Brian smiled after a moment, only a little sad. "I'll see you around, Tanner."

"We're back to Tanner again, huh?" Rick said, deciding to just not comment on the thing with Dom. He knew that the level of trust and understanding Dom had shown to Brian had been far too rare in Brian's life, even from his closest friends. Tej had actually been one of the few who trusted and believed in Brian so completely that even _Rick_ had trouble believing in the kid that much back then, so knowing Brian was headed out to join him took a big weight off of Rick's heart. Tej might have Brian driving at mach ten if he could figure a way to make a car fly that fast, but he'd take care of the kid, too.

Brian rolled his eyes, still smiling, and started for the driver's door of the Mustang. "Alright, _Dad_. I'll see you when I see you."

Rick moved over out of the driveway. "Call me, kid, and if you do decide to stay in Miami, I want to know."

Brian paused with his door open, looking over the top of the car at his dad. "Why?"

"Cause if you decide to stay there, I'll be moving," Rick replied calmly.

Brian stared for a moment before he smiled suddenly, this one finally lighting up his eyes. "You'd do that for me?"

"Always heard Florida's a nice place to retire," Rick replied with a smile, trying to make light of it. "If my family's gonna be there, I might as well go a few years early."

"I'll let you know as soon as I do," Brian said quietly, still smiling. "Love you too."

"You'd better, kid," Rick said firmly, smiling wider. "Don't forget to call me, tell me how you're doing racing your girl."

"She's gonna _dominate_ ," Brian said confidently. "See you when I see you." He got into the car without waiting for an answer.

Rick smiled, watching as Brian belted in and then fired up the Mustang, and he chuckled slightly at the grin that bloomed on Brian's face at the sound of the big engine. Every time Brian pressed on the gas to rev the engine, the kid's grin got a little wider, a little happier, and Rick said a little prayer for driving a few thousand miles to help Brian forget Toretto.

Brian looked at Tanner then, still grinning as he leaned towards his open window and called, "Later!"

"Bye!" Rick called back, smiling as he waved.

Brian lifted one hand in a wave as he was backing out of the driveway, and then a moment later he was driving away a lot slower than Rick had expected him to, carefully respecting the speed limit.

Rick watched until he was gone and then finally walked back into his empty house. He was going to miss Brian, but he didn't think it would be long before the kid was calling to tell him he was staying in Miami. Brian had always adored Tej, worshiped him even, and Rick didn't doubt that Brian would enjoy letting Tej supply him with fast cars to drive and races to run. Tej had always made no secret of loving the kid, doing his best to take care of him, and Rick knew Brian needed a little of that love and affection in his life right now.

Brian was sure to think Miami was Heaven before too long.

 

~*~*~

 

Going to Barstow turned out to be a bad idea.

Sure, Brian got to see Grandma Lily and she fed him fried chicken with mashed potatoes and cream gravy, the best meal he'd had since that bowl of sausage and mushroom rigatoni in Dom's kitchen, what seemed like a lifetime ago. She insisted that he sack out on her couch for the night and then made him a big batch of biscuits the next morning with her sausage gravy that had made him make happy little embarrassing noises. When he left her house, she gave him a paper bag of biscuits and told him to save a few for his Tej, which made him laugh and hug her tight. He'd left her house smiling wide and not thinking about _anyone_ in L.A. for the first time in way over a year, just wishing she was closer to Miami so he'd be able to see her again more often.

No, the rough part of going back to Barstow was when he went to visit Rome.

Just walking into Victorville had twisted Brian up in knots inside, tensed up ready to fight even though he knew he _should_ be perfectly safe, but he had done it because he wanted so badly to see Rome. Even after so long, he still hoped some day he'd try and Rome would finally at least speak to him again. He'd even brought in five of Grandma Lily's biscuits as a peace offering, wrapped neatly in several paper napkins. The guard who searched him before he was allowed into the visitation area had taken one, but the search had been quick and impersonal and the guy had let him keep the others for Rome, who loved them even more than Brian did.

"You... you're serious?" Brian asked a second time, staring at the burly black guard who had just walked into the room. The visitation area was empty except for Brian, and he'd been waiting for twenty minutes since someone said Rome would be brought out soon.

"Yeah, I'm _serious_ , kid," the guard said, rolling his eyes. "Roman said you're a cop and he don't want nothin' to do with you."

"I'm not a cop anymore," Brian said softly, pained. "I just... He's been my best friend since we were kids. Can't you _make_ him come so I can try to talk some sense into him? He'll listen to me, he always has even when he was so pissed he kicked my ass first."

The guard sighed. "Kid, even if I do, the way he blew up when I told him who was waiting, he'll just fuck up his record, beating you to a pulp." He paused and then added, "Roman has been keeping his nose pretty clean in here, but everyone is still scared of his crazy ass. Every fight he gets in, he makes it plain he _could_ kill the guy if he wanted to. Dude is _not_ someone to mess with."

"I know," Brian said softly, swallowing hard. "We got two years in juvie for boostin' a car together when I was a scrawny fifteen year old kid. We got put in different cellblocks and I didn't have a prayer until I ended up in the infirmary a couple months in and my dad could talk the warden into moving me to bunk with Rome. He took care of me the rest of the time we were there, even when we were asleep. Some days he fought half a dozen times keeping them off of me. I'd do _anything_ for him."

The guard stared at Brian, shocked this pretty ex-cop had just as much as admitted he was Roman Pearce's bitch. He knew enough about how Roman treated his bunkmates to be sure the kid hadn't shared a cell with Roman for most of two years without getting bent over pretty regular. Roman was notorious for being a horndog and shameless about it. He wasn't rough on whoever his bitch happened to be, was actually pretty good to them compared to a lot of guys, but he _always_ had the upper hand.

They just stood there looking at each other for a few moments before the guard finally said gruffly, "I can take him those biscuits you brought him, kid, but I ain't sure you want to see him. I don't know what he was like when you were kids, but after three years in here he's hard as steel clear through. Man said he ain't coming, and he don't bend."

Brian let out a soft, strangled little laugh, looking away. "Yeah. He _never_ did, except for me." He offered the guard the paper-wrapped biscuits, letting him take them as he added, "Please do give him those, his grandma made 'em fresh a couple hours ago and he loves them. Tell him to call her, he forgot last week and she misses him." He turned to go, glad the visitation center was empty so early in the morning so no one was there to see him turned away.

The guard took a step as he reached with his free hand for Brian's arm to stop him, and his eyes went wide at the way the kid jerked away, leaping out of reach and throwing his back against the nearby wall all wild-eyed. "Whoa, easy," he said soothingly. The kid was obviously expecting to be hurt, which was just sad, but fit with what he'd said about juvie. Walking into a prison must have been like walking into hell for him. "Calm down, son, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanted to be sure you know Roman is up for probation soon. He just might be out in a month or so. He's been a model prisoner, even saved a guard's life a while back when a fight got nasty. Maybe you could try talking to him then, kid."

"Thanks," Brian managed to say, feeling his face heat up as he moved away from the wall. "I'm ... glad he's nearly free. I'll have his grandma let me know when he's out."

"Good luck," the guard said quietly. The kid was shaking like a leaf and obviously embarrassed about it and how he'd reacted to being touched. It made the guard sad to see it. "You watch your back, okay?"

"Always," Brian agreed, nodding as he started to get control of himself. "I'm good out there. Not many can catch me. It's just in prison I get hurt." He paused and then added softly, "I just got out, did a year for street racing." He didn't even feel bad about the lie. He wasn't about to admit he had been a dirty cop, not inside a prison.

" _Stay_ out, kid," the guard said firmly. "You're too damn pretty to last long on the inside."

Brian let out a choked little laugh and then his chin lifted and he met the guard's gaze, his blue eyes pained but suddenly hard, too. "I might surprise you. I know I look like a pretty piece of ass, but I survived a year on my own in Chino. Rome ain't the only one who'll fight dirty when he has to."

The guard snorted. "Like I said, kid, stay out. Then you won't have to fight." He paused, then added, "And I hope you gave up that racing shit, or you'll just end up in jail again."

"Only if they catch me," Brian said quickly, suddenly smirking slightly and proud of the new name he'd earned on the streets even though he was still feeling kind of shaky inside. "There's a reason they call me _Bullitt_." He turned away and started for the door without another word, and he was glad the guard didn't try to stop him again.

The guard watched the kid go, then snorted softly and headed back towards D block to give Roman his biscuits. It was never a bad idea to be on Roman's good side, and the kid _did_ say Roman's grandma sent them.

 

~*~*~

 

Brian spent most of the next two days on the highway except for a few hours of sleep in his Mustang at a busy Petro truck stop when he got tired because he wasn't leaving her alone outside motel where she could get stolen while he slept, no way in hell. He planned to _really_ sleep once he was safe with Tej, so he spent most of the time driving other than stops for meals and several detours to find someone to race because he was bored. First it was a race meet he'd stumbled over by following a tricked out Honda into the west Texas desert, where his Mustang had easily beaten all four cars that tried him, making him eight grand. He didn't get that lucky again and the rest were just impromptu street races where he pulled up next to someone at a light and dared them to run, first in Dallas, then another in Louisiana, two in Alabama, and one in Tallahassee.

Brian was bone tired by the time he rolled into Miami late Tuesday night, technically Wednesday like he had said even though to him it felt sort of like Monday was still running him down. He had his stereo going loud and was singing along to keep himself from thinking about anything much except driving and the music, glad nobody he knew was nearby because he'd never live down how much he loved Pink's ' _Funhouse Live_ ' album. He'd made a good profit on the way there, paying his gas and food and filling his wallet besides, but the money hadn't mattered as much as the thrill of racing.

Brian killed the tunes and called Tej when he hit the city limits even though it was one in the morning, asking for directions, and thirty minutes later he was rolling to a stop in one of the bays of Tej's sprawling garage, which was lit up like a Christmas tree with neon and bright florescent lights.

Tej was playing poker when Brian pulled in, but he tossed his cards down and was limping towards him before Brian got even his door open, beaming as he crowed, "Twinkie!"

Brian laughed and then Tej tackled him with a hug. He was thrilled to realize he felt no fear at all of Tej's touch, instead able to just enjoy the old familiar feeling of Tej holding him tight, and he was grinning wide and goofy as he wrapped his arms around Tej, picking him up and swinging him around. "Hey Swiss Roll."

Tej laughed, pulling back just enough to give Brian a grin that didn't go with his words as he said, "Man, that is so _racist_!"

"Oh, and like callin' me _Twinkie_ ain't," Brian replied, still grinning and holding Tej up so his feet were off the ground. Tej wasn't quite as small as Brian remembered, but he was still light as a feather to someone who wrestled cars for fun and profit. Tej had grown a few inches and put on a lot more muscle, and he was definitely eating better than he did back when he was spending every penny he had on his car, but Brian had put on a few inches and most of fifty pounds since then too, and all of it muscle. The heavier shoulders and upper arms he had developed in Chino were still there, he was evidently getting enough of a workout from him working on his car to keep the extra muscle. Picking Tej up was easier than it had ever been.

Tej grinned. "You _are_ a Twinkie, Bri." He kissed Brian soundly and then swatted his shoulder. "Now stop bein' an ass and put me _down_."

Brian snickered and set Tej's feet back on the concrete. "Whatever you say, Swiss Roll."

Tej let out a snort of a laugh, grinning at Brian as he said, "It took you the whole drive to think of that one, didn't it, baby boy?"

"Maybe," Brian admitted, laughing. He'd actually seen a packet of Swiss Rolls next to the Twinkies in a gas station in Tallahassee and laughed way too hard over it. The girl behind he counter had offered him coffee and asked if he needed her to call a taxi for him, sure he was drunk or high or both.

"For damn sure," Tej corrected, grinning wider.

Brian noticed finally that the three people Tej had been playing poker with had followed Tej over and were watching with various expressions of surprise, though the pretty little Asian chick just looked like she wanted to claw Brian's eyes out. He was sure she must be Suki.

The girl moved over next to Tej, hooking her arm possessively through his and giving Brian a flat stare as she asked, "Baby, who's your friend?"

Tej looked at her quickly, smirking. "Suki darlin', this boy is the white bread version of _me_. We go way back to right after high school. Name's Brian, but I just call him Twinkie 'cause he's all golden and buff on the outside, but inside he's just sweet fluffy whiteness."

The two men who had been playing poker with Tej both started laughing at that, and even Suki let out a little giggle, but her eyes were still pretty pissed as she stared up at Brian and said, "Nice to meet you, Brian."

Brian smiled at her, blue eyes sparkling and cheerful as he said, "Hey Suki. My friends call me Bri, mostly, but sometimes people call me Bullitt." He reached out to pat the Mustang with a grin, adding, "I think it's the car."

The little bald guy behind Tej and Suki moved forward then, glancing at Brian before he looked back at the car. "She got Nos?"

Brian laughed, watching as the guy stepped past him to look in the driver's door. "Yeah, she's got _everything_. And you are?"

"That's Jimmy," Tej said with a laugh as Jimmy looked back at Brian. "He's the best mechanic on the east coast, even _with_ me an' you here."

"Damn," Brian said with a grin, eyebrows going up. He grinned at Jimmy, offering him his hand as he said, "Glad to meet you, man."

Jimmy shook Brian's hand, giving him a quick smile. "Same, bro." He jerked his thumb at the Mustang, looking hopeful. "Care if I pop the hood?"

"Nah man, go for it," Brian said easily, grinning. "If Tej trusts you, that's enough for me. Just don't change anything, I got her right the way I want her."

Jimmy grinned. "Deal." He reached in the car to pull the hood release and then headed for the front of the car.

Tej chuckled, looking at Brian. "He'll forget we're even _here_ now."

Brian grinned. "Gotta remind you of somebody."

"Yeah," Tej said with a laugh. "You! Jimmy don't _drool_ on sexy cars, though. He just talks to 'em."

Brian just grinned and nodded towards the guy that was still behind Tej and Suki. "You ever gonna introduce your other friend, Tej?"

Tej laughed and pulled away from Suki, turning to grab the guy's arm and tug him forward. "This here's Julio, better known as Orange Julius. He's shy, white boys in sexy American muscle scare him."

Julio laughed and shoved Tej. "And you're full of shit, Tej." He looked at Brian, giving a little jerk of his chin. "Hey man. Heard Tej talkin' about you some the last few days. He says you're the best."

Brain grinned. "Nah man, _Tej_ is the best. I just do okay." He smirked, adding, "Win more than I lose."

"Can't wait to see you prove it," Julio said easily. "I'm plannin' to bet on you when you run his Skyline, she is gonna be _sweet_."

"Oughta be a good investment," Brian agreed, still grinning. He looked back at Tej, asking, "You got somewhere safe I can park my baby so I can get some shuteye? I've been up like thirty hours and I'm beat. I'll find a place to live tomorrow."

Tej snorted. "I already _got_ you a place to live, baby boy." He ignored the way Suki looked at him when he said that, pulling away from her and moving towards Brian as he added, "Just chuck Jimmy your keys and come with me. He'll lock your lady up in the bay I promised you when he's through checkin' her out."

Jimmy leaned around the hood to look expectantly at Brian, who laughed and tossed him the keys. "Watch her if you take her out, she likes to fly."

Jimmy grinned. "I bet, she's _sweet_."

"Thanks," Brian said, grinning smug and happy. "I did it all myself, even the paint."

Jimmy eyebrows rose. "Tej wasn't joking about you being good. I couldn't have done much better."

"You're gonna have to tell me sometime what you'd change," Brian said easily, still grinning as he leaned into his car to grab the duffle and the paper bag laying in the back seat and then looked back at Jimmy. "I'm always glad to learn from another pro."

"Sure," Jimmy agreed, pleased. "Tomorrow?"

"Sounds good," Brian agreed, "just not early. I'm prob'ly gonna sleep half the day. I'm beat, I haven't even _seen_ a bed in a few days."

Tej reached out then to put his hand at the small of Brian's back, his touch warm and soothingly familiar to Brian even after so long as he said cheerfully, "Then lets get you into one, baby boy." He gave Brian a little push to start him walking, smirking at the amused look Brian gave him, and then he waved at the others with his free hand. "Night, y'all. Lock up when you're done, Jimmy."

"Sure, boss," Jimmy agreed, surprised as he watched Tej usher Brian off towards the houseboat behind the garage where Tej usually slept.

"Huh," Julio said softly as soon as Tej and Brian were around the corner of the building. "So it's like _that_."

"It won't be for long," Suki said darkly, then whirled away to head for her car. "Night, boys."

"G'night, Suki," Jimmy replied automatically, watching her go for a moment before he looked at Julio. "I knew Tej calls him _Twinkie_ , but dude."

Julio let out a snort of a laugh. "Yeah man, I hear you. Not what I was expectin' out of Tej either." He patted Jimmy's shoulder, adding, "I'm out too, bro. We can finish the game tomorrow."

"Works for me," Jimmy agreed. "I'll make sure nobody messes with the cards."

"Good man," Julio said cheerfully. "Night."

"Night," Jimmy echoed, watching Julio walk away towards his car for only a moment before he turned back towards the Mustang. He had already seen a few things that were new to him, and he was so curious about what else Brian might have done that he could hardly stand it. He couldn't take her apart, not without _asking_ anyway, but he could tell almost as much from just looking at her, or driving her.

Jimmy grinned at that thought, reaching into the hood to run his fingers lightly over gleaming metal that was still almost too hot to touch as he murmured, "You and me are gonna _fly_ here pretty soon, you sexy thing."

 

 

~ End


End file.
